How to Receive to Achieve and More: Q & A With CEO Rha GoddessOct 09, 2019
Move the Crowd CEO, Rha Goddess, jumped into facebook live to take some of your burning questions around how to stay true, get paid and do good. The community responded in a powerful way!
We first invited members of The Calling pre-order Insider’s Club to submit their questions and we are grateful for your input. If you haven’t pre-ordered your book yet, CLICK HERE and take care of that right away.
Doing so will give you automatic access to the Insider’s Club where you will have access to numerous FREE resources, including more wisdom and insight from Rha as well as sneak peeks into the book’s content, private social groups and MORE. Rha also took live questions to address your highest priority ideas. Feel free to watch the Q & A or read on for your Qs and Rha’s As:
Silence the Noise
“What is the first step in silencing the noise around me? What practices have worked for you?” TJ from Baltimore Everybody should be able to close the door, even if it’s the bathroom.
Or the vestibule in your home, between the front door and the rest of your home. This is important, especially if you have little ones or lots of roommates. You can almost feel unentitled to your own space. I was in a conversation earlier this week with someone who was in conflict with their partner because they were not getting enough solitude.
The first step is to be in a space where I can close the door and shut out whatever is happening. For some of us, this may mean that we need to step outside the house and go take a walk. Maybe you need to go into nature.
Get in an environment that invites calm. Invite that space and take a couple of nice, deep breaths. Invite the quiet. Let your mind slow down. Feel your body begin to relax. Do a scan: check in top to bottom. Where are you feeling tension? Are you breathing shallow or deeply? Noticing all of these things makes a difference in starting to get present. The first step to guiding your mind is getting present. I have a stillness practice, religiously every day a minimum of an hour where nothing is on:
No radio No phone No computer Even if sometimes I have to break it up and get it in twenty minutes sections, I have a commitment that I have to have that time. I start my day in silence, often in prayer and meditation. These are hard and fast rules for me. And then at least once or twice during the course of the day come back to myself, especially if it gets really busy or I get aggravated. I have to come back.
- Conducive environment
- Find a place that brings you calm
- Slow down
- Invite your mind to calm down
- Scan the body
These are all things that help quiet the mind and quiet the spirit.
How Do I Know if I’ve Experienced Trauma?
“What are the kinds of trauma people have faced that causes a scarcity mentality? How do I know if my experience qualifies?” Dierdre from SoCal It’s a sad thing to say but most of us have experienced some kind of trauma. And those of us who come from rough childhoods, not just financially but all kinds of negative upbringing, have formative experiences that impact your self-perception and perception of resources.
This influences the degree to which you feel worthy. Over the next few months the conversation that we’re in at Move the Crowd is rooted in worthiness. We’re identifying the ways that we do or don’t think that we’re worthy. Do you find that you have a hard time receiving? Do you find that you have a hard time believing that you’re worth the things that you want?
Do you find that you have a hard time believing that you deserve the things that you want? You see opportunities but question whether you deserve to take advantage of them. Anything that has you questioning your own merit, anything that has you challenging your worthiness to take what you want is a message that came from somewhere.
A number one aspect of this work is to develop a self love and self acceptance that gives us the courage and permission to go for the things that are part of our heart’s deepest longing and desire.
Time, money, opportunity… you deserve to have it. A huge part of the work is going to be the way that you treat you, the way that you care for you, the way that you see you and the way that you acknowledge you. This comes first, before all of the tips and tools. Those have their place but if you’re not loving you and you’re not feeling like you deserve it then you’re not going to show up for it. That has to be addressed first and foremost. For many of us, these are old old messages.
What Do I Need To Do If I Feel Aligned But Am Not Succeeding?
“So what do I need to do if I “feel” aligned and there’s no movement in enrollment, interest in my work. I have done the work- I’m doing that work. Yet, studio closed, workshops empty. What am I missing?” Syntyche, FB Live My question for you is: are you in community? Do you have colleagues in your field? Are there circles that you attend and a sense of people knowing where you are and what you have to offer? If you say that you are aligned and you feel no movement, I have two questions:
- To what degree are you isolated?
Are you able to lean in and share about your work in a much broader way, maybe than just who comes to your studio. There are opportunities to go out into the world and engage. I’d be curious to know to what degree you are doing it and how often you are doing it. Also, are you really really clear about who you want to come into your studio and who you want to do your workshops? To what degree are you networked, engaging and working with collaborators whose work is complementary to what you’re doing?
- Are you receiving?
Are you someone who has a hard time receiving? If you’re doing a lot of work and people still aren’t coming on some level then I’m curious: are you the person who does and gives but doesn’t necessarily allow other people to do for you? Have you been receiving or making requests of other people in such a way that it opens up the flow moving in your direction?
Transforming Organizational Principles
“I have made a commitment to transformational work...when in that work, can you talk about the difference of an organizational principle that is created from trauma and one that is coming from enlivened by and resourced and how to shift it?” Solunis, FB Live Is she finding that the organizational culture is defined by trauma and trying to shift it towards one that’s more healthy?
That is the counter-question I’ll lean into. Often we can find that we come into a culture that’s already toxic or dysfunctional. In some of our activist and social impact communities, we can show up in a room and there is something about how the work happens that is a contradiction to what people say they’re fighting for. In an organizational context ask, to what degree is the leadership open to the kind of feedback that will allow you and other members of the staff to contribute to shifting the culture?
Can you share the observations and key behaviors that you see being drawn from these organizational principles that may be challenging the success of the organization? I will say to you: that is common. What starts to open the space to shift it is to have honest conversations with the leadership. If you are a new member of the community who is empowered in some way to change the culture, it’s important for you to identify:
- What are they key behaviors?
- What are the key elements of messaging?
- What are the opportunities for other people in the organization to lean in and be honest about it?
Good leaders of healthy organizations will provide their team with opportunities to share their stories and their individual visions for success. What does it look like when they’ve been successful in the role and to what degree does the organization have the opportunity to celebrate those wins?
Choose three important shifts that you think could move the organization from being trauma impacted to a place of being healthy, happy, whole and free.
Can you create a safe space for this kind of dialogue? What are the behaviors that don’t contribute to the kind of outcome that you want to have? What’s the practice or commitment that the organization is willing to make on a consistent basis to start to shift the energy? How do people buy in to this? Members buy in is important. Being able to articulate what the benefit is to them as the culture shifts will be really important. For example: “People will have more satisfaction in their work.” “We will be more effective, which means more resources and opportunities.” Lead it if you can!
One Step Forward Two Steps Back: Celebrating Each Step
“I am having such a hard time being ok with where I am in my life right now. I know I’m meant for greater things. I was diagnosed with bipolar last year and my life was thrown upside down. I’m recovering from that but I feel like when I take a step forward something happens and I’m two steps back. How can I fight this? I feel as though it’s fear.” Calli, FB Live Part of the journey that you’re on is about resilience. There are many people in our community who have different kinds of diagnoses. Part of the gift/challenge is around teaching and modeling resilience. When you feel those setbacks, what’s important to know is that you’re still on a journey. It’s not about beating yourself up or comparing yourself to anyone.
It’s about knowing that every day, if you’re just taking one step forward that you’re in progress. Even if you feel that you get knocked back two, you get up the next day and you try again.
Take small steps. Sometimes we think: it needs to happen tomorrow, I need to build the whole thing overnight, I need to get a million followers on Instagram in two weeks and if it doesn’t happen there’s judgment. Success is about the step by step, consistent practice, sacred action.
I don’t care if you move an inch or if you move a foot, your willingness to show up every single day and stay in the game is key. There are things moving that you can’t even see until they show up and manifest. Your head may be down and you’re doing the good work but you’re not seeing the progress that you want to see. Sometimes you feel like, “why bother?” But I want you to know that there is a cumulative effort that builds and tips at some point and what wasn’t apparent starts to become apparent.
The way that you invite or encourage it to come quicker is through celebration.
Being willing to see your wins, own your wins and acknowledge your wins. Even if it’s nobody “but you,” you are the most important person that you need to acknowledge your wins to. If you have a to-do list of 10 and you get to one, are you celebrating that one or are you beating yourself up? Small steps.
You might start noticing that your capacity might change every day based on how you are feeling. If you can do one small thing, do that one small thing. If you feel stronger tomorrow, do the next thing and then the next thing. Keep your eyes on the prize. Continue to give energy and love to your desire to make a difference in the lives of other people.
Get really specific about what that is. Write about it. Share about it. Even if it means that you spend time volunteering in someone else’s organization or company as a way to get your feet wet. Any of those small steps get you in the game. My experience is that when we can focus on the difference that we want to make, it inspires more action and it gives us more capacity.
You can do it. And part of your testimony is going to be about the resilience you developed just by virtue of everything that you’re doing right now to move closer to your dream.
How Do I Leave My Job and Let Go of Fear?
“What are your thoughts on doing the first steps towards listening the calling (saying yes to that) and leaving the past of unfulfilled jobs (saying no to that) and the FEAR of not being able to make money with the new work - the calling?” Janice, FB Live First step: write your resignation letter.
In your letter, talk about what you know your next work is. Literally, this is what allowed me to make the leap. I held that letter for eight months. But just by virtue of fact that I wrote the letter, it started the wheels in motion. In the letter, give voice to what the job has given you and be honoring with full gratitude. And then, “I’m leaving because ____.” What is it that’s calling you? Don’t overthink it. Take the reins off. Let yourself go and fully express it. I don’t care whether or not it’s perfect language or makes sense. Your opportunity is to start to allow it to flow. You know what you want to do, you’ve got the elements of it.
For many of us, our calling begins as a feeling. We see or hear something and get very emotional. We may not be able to fully give words to what’s happening to us but we’re being touched in a really deep way. There’s something about allowing ourselves to stay in the feeling so that the words can come. Stay in the space and courageously give voice to your calling.
- Record it
You may not be ready to talk to someone or share it but you’re beginning to give voice to it. I wrote in my journal for two years about what I thought I was here to do… and I had no idea to call it.
I wrote things like, “I’m here to help people” “I’m here to be of service” “I’m here to help heal” “I’m here to empower and uplift” Over and over again and all of a sudden it started to get more precise. “I’m here to help these people” “I’m here to support moving people through these obstacles” Repetition is your friend.
This is what starts to give you access to the language that you’re looking for talk about what it is that you’re here to do. Follow the feeling. Allow the feeling to start to give you words. And then you honor and nurture until ultimately you arrive at the calling. This is the process that I take you through in the book.
For most of us, we know what it is but we’re too afraid. It doesn’t sound like we think it should sound or we don’t know how to make money with it. So we sit on it or hide behind it. We don’t give it voice and life. Before any of those other things can happen, it has to have voice and it has to have life.
How do I Turn Trauma Into Success?
“Can you please help me see how turn really bad trauma around?” Lenora, FB Live Being well-supported and well-surrounded is imperative. Some Resources from Rha: Co-dependant’s Anonymous Codependant No More by Melody Beattie The Tapping Technique (EFT) Every facet of your well-being is important:
- Time in nature
- Talk therapy
- Support groups
- Creative outlet
- Nurturing the dream
- Doing the things that make you happy
Give yourself the right to experience joy. This is crucial in addition to support. One foot at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time but all of these supports are vital to recovery.
Know that who you are, at the very very core, is amazing and beautiful and worthy, regardless of what you’ve been through.
I’m Worth More: How Do I Make More?
“I believe I’m worth more but I don’t know how to make more. What am I missing?” Cal, Virginia Beach First, bring your all to whatever you are offering.
The first thing I want to say is: what are you bringing? I love that you know, in your soul of souls that you’re worth more, but pay attention to what you’re offering. Whether it’s what you’re bringing into an organization or a company or if you have your own business, really ensure that you’re doing the things that you love and are incredible at.
I know that some people struggle with being really good at things that they’re paid really well for but that they don’t love. We come back to this alignment conversation: find the joy in whatever it is that you’re doing, even if you know that it’s temporary. Your ability to bring joyful energy to whatever you’re working on enables you to excel, magnetize and attract.
Second, are you asking for more? Some of us know that we’re worth more but we’re not asking more or demanding more. Sometimes we’re afraid to ask more because we’re afraid that the person will go away. So, we discount automatically or don’t ask for what we want and end up bringing home less. Are you making bold requests to charge more for whatever it is that you’re offering?
Are you consistently in conversations with people who have the ability to buy what you have to offer?
Are you having consistent conversations of invitation?
Third, are you a receiver?
Are you giving, giving, giving and when people come acting like you don’t need it or aren’t allowing people to lean in. You knowing you’re worth it is the beginning and now it’s about showing up consistent with what you know in every facet of your engagement. You will end up receiving the love in the form of increased compensation.
Do I Have to Choose Between Making a Difference and Making Money?
“I work in a non-profit and love making a difference but I barely make enough to survive. I feel like I have to choose between making more and making a difference. What do I do?” Imani, D.C. You do not have to choose. What you do have the opportunity to do is get really clear about what is your work. If you are in the field and doing the work that you believe is your work, then what kind of opportunity can you create to do your work in a context that will compensate you?
The organization may or may not be able to give you a raise. But you should ask, explaining what you really need in order to do the work and thrive and be healthy financially. If the organization can’t continue to hold you and you’re not looking to start your own business or non-profit, then you have an opportunity to look at other organizations that are doing the work in a bigger role for your contribution. I work for non-profits in this area.
I believe that every non-profit needs to have revenue generating work. Not just foundation money or donation money but revenue-generating strategies. You may say, I love this organization too much to leave. If you want to help lift them in the work, there is an opportunity to look at the services they offer and could they be revenue-generating? You could take on leading that initiative. Or, you could start to cultivate this yourself. How could you potentially offer these services as an entrepreneur?
If you’re in a low-earning position or a non-profit context, the first big switch is to believe that people will pay for what you have to offer.
There are models that I call sponsorship or models where someone pays or purchases the opportunity for someone who can’t pay. There are other social ventures that follow this model. There is dignity in this exchange but it requires a paradigm shift with new strategies.
How Does My Mindset Impact My Ability to Earn Money?
“How can I tell if the problem in earning money is my identity?” Tiera from Portland Many of us have been taught to believe that we can’t succeed because of who we are: our race, gender, where we grew up, who our parents were. We’ve inherited and taken on these messages. Because our identity is very central, it feels like a no-win situation: “I can’t change who I am, so therefore I have to suffer.” “I can’t change the system: it’s broken or rigged and I can’t break out of it.
” Somebody’s limiting perception of you is not your problem.
Even if that person is somebody who loves you or claims to love you. You have to decide who you want to be for you and what you want to have available to you. You may hear notions: “I’m a ___ woman.” Or “I come from ___.” None of these are a reason to not go for what you want to do in the world or play at the highest level you inspired to play with. Your passion, your commitment to your inspiration, should take precedence over anything. It is not your job to solve all of people’s distorted messaging. It’s your job:
- To dream
- To inspire
- To show up in alignment with what it is that you say that you want to have
You need to be tenacious, willing and committed enough to get the tools, information and resources that you need to be able to figure it out. You can do it. Your identity does not have to be any form of handicap. It’s your opportunity to see yourself in the beauty that you are. Let the rest of the world reorganize itself around that.
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